You see some people who seem to sail through life with very few hitches, and you wonder why it’s so difficult for others of us to get our lives on track. Just when we think we’re moving forward, some unexpected event throws us off track.
You are enrolled in college and are making good grades when the economy goes sour, and your family is not able to support you any longer. You complete a degree in a field you love and have all kinds of dreams of the career you’ll have only to get out into the job market and find that there are no jobs that require your expertise.
First of all, don’t decide that setting goals is not worthwhile. Your goals are probably the best thing you have going for you. Just shift gears and begin to reconstruct your aims, at least for the short run. However, once that/those goals have been set, it’s useful to anticipate what obstacles will get in the way of their realisation.
For example, if your goal was to complete a degree and that goal was thwarted because your parents can no longer foot the bill, it’s easier to deal with if you’ve anticipated it. Talk first to the financial aid officer in your college. You may be surprised at what funds, scholarships, and student aid are out there that may at least keep you in school for this year and possibly until the end of your degree program. At the same time, get online and google student aid for possible sources of support. Ask around. You may be surprised at the students who are gaining their degrees without parental support. You may have to do what millions of other students have done to stay in school—you may have to find part-time employment to make up the difference in what student aid will cover and what you will still need, such as books.
Secondly, set priorities. Perhaps you can take longer to finish your degree—instead of four years, perhaps five or six. Also, by then the financial crisis may have turned around and your parents will be able to help you again. Also, the job market may also be more favorable and you may have a better chance of starting the career you want by then.
Don’t fall apart. Keep yourself organised and on track. Your self-composure will be your most valuable tool in times of crisis. Apply organisational principles to your planning right now. If you’ve rearranged your priorities and have decided to take longer to get your degree and are planning to take a job that will keep you going for the time being, then plan what kind of job, how many hours you’ll tackle per semester, what your living arrangements will be, etc. Establish a budget and stick to it. This is not a time to spend on non-essentials. Just keep your eye on your goal and stick to your organizational plan.
Don’t give up on your goal. It’s discouraging, even frightening to be confronted with obstacles that threaten that goal. The worst thing you can do is give up on it. Confront your situation with grit and determination and a plan that will lead to your goal. By staying focused and allowing some built-in flexibility when necessary, you can work around the obstacle and get where you wanted to go in the first place.
Filed under Lifestyle by on Aug 14th, 2010. 
So you’ve found someone who’s just perfect for you and want to make sure you don’t mess it up! Just the fact that you’re looking for tips at this early stage is a good sign. For a new relationship, advice on building a solid foundation can have a major impact on your future as a couple.
Be yourself
This is probably the oldest advice in the book, but there’s a reason for that. Think about it this way: do you really want waste months or years of time and energy pretending to be someone you’re not? Even if your partner thinks the world of you, in reality, they don’t even know who you are. So go ahead and show your true colors right from the start.
Take it slow
One of the fastest ways to kill a budding relationship is to jump into bed too soon or live like you’re attached at the hip. Go slow with physical affection, starting with simple hand holding and building up from there. No matter how crazy you are about each other, try not to spend every waking minute together. Now and then go out with some other friends or just by yourself. It helps you preserve your own sense of identity and keeps you from wearing each other out.
Stay friends
Ultimately, friendship is the foundation of any happy, long-term relationship. Romance and passion are great, but friendship is what keeps you together. Unfortunately, when we get used to a person, there’s a tendency to take the other person for granted or give yourself permission to nit pick their behavior. Don’t fall into that trap. Even when you disagree, show your partner the same respect you’d show any other close friend. Remember, in a new relationship, staying friends can help keep the passion alive, too.
Learn to handle conflict
While it may not be very comfortable, conflict is not only inevitable, it is also an opportunity for growth. When you handle differences and disagreements in a healthy way, you actually gain from the experience. After all, it may just be that your partner really does have a better way of doing something.
The trick is not to let irritations build up. If something your partner does seriously bothers, bring it up kindly and gently. It may be easier to solve than you expect. In any case, trying to ignore a problem while letting resentment brew is a recipe for disaster. That’s why, for a new relationship, resolving conflicts can be a huge help.
Learn what makes relationships work
If you’re hoping to find your true love some day, you’ve probably already read a few of those interviews with couples who’ve been married 50 years or more. Read more of those and while you’re at it, read anything you can find on the secrets of successful long-term relationships. Sure, no two relationships are the same, but the ones that last do have certain things in common. Knowing what those are gives your relationship a better chance of staying the course.
Creating lasting love last isn’t always easy, but starting off the right way helps you build the strong foundation a long-term commitment depends on.
Filed under Lifestyle by on Aug 5th, 2010.
Magazines and dating advice is chock filled with so-called ‘body language experts’. We’re told a huge percentage of what we say in non-verbal. But how much of your true intentions are really expressed by your body language? You might be told that you are expressing something through body language that you haven’t said. Maybe you don’t agree that you were saying that, even nonverbally. Many mistakes can be made when trying to interpret body language.
The most notorious mistake people make is to tell someone that he/she is showing defensive body language because he/she is crossing the arms over the chest. While that may be true, there could be other explanations that could be just as accurate. It may just mean that the air in the room is cold. Or, he/she may simply be more comfortable with the arms in that position, especially if there are no arms on the chair the person is sitting in. What’s more, if you tell a person that he/she is being defensive, his/her body language will definitely become so.
Eye contact is another shady area when it comes to body language. Most people assume that you should engage the other person with as much eye contact as possible. While eye contact is important, it can be overdone. Staring is considered an aggressive move. However, it may just mean that the person is being overzealous at trying to keep eye contact. The more we analyse body language the more self-conscious we become about the signals we’re giving out, and perhaps the most likely we are to actually try to divert attention from our inner intentions!
Another instance of trying to interpret the meanings behind eye contact is to determine honesty. It seems obvious that a person who is lying to you will not be able to look you square in the eye. The truth is that there are many reasons why a person might feel the need to look away. These might include their shyness or a feeling that you are being aggressive in your body language. The body language of a person who is actually lying to you may be quite different than what you expect. Since most people have heard that lying people look away, a person who is lying will often stare. Obviously, they don’t want to get caught and they will use what they know about body language to help them.
If a person pinches the bridge of the nose with the eyes closed, people who pay attention to body language will most likely explain that this person is demonstrating a negative evaluation. However, the person could just have a headache. How many times have you seen a person who has a migraine in just this posture?
Eye-rubbing is usually seen as some form of doubt or disbelief. There are really several reasons why a person would rub an eye. The person might have something in the eye. They might be sleepy. Or, they might be suffering from allergies. In other words, this ‘complex and revealing’ body language may simply be a physical reaction to a fairly mundane cause.
Putting your hands and fingers in a steeple or pyramid shape is often thought to convey an attitude of authority and confidence. Sometimes, that’s just what it is. Sometimes, though, the person is only trying to project these images even if they are not true. If a person knows a little about body language, they can certainly manipulate the way they come across.
Probably the best way to identify the meaning of body language is to look for overall patterns. While one behaviour may point you towards a belief that the person has one attitude, patterns tell more. A group of behaviours appearing together will give you a better read on someone’s body language.
Filed under Lifestyle by on Jul 24th, 2010.
People seem to have the misconception that only a select few are able to unleash a steady flow of creative genius. That is not true at all. The fact is, creativity is very much like a muscle that needs to be exercised in order to consistently give out great results. If you don’t practice harnessing creative thinking, this skill will very much atrophy into inexistence. But keep working and this skill will soon come to you in a snap.
So how do you unleash your creative thinking? Well, the first thing is to become a human leech. No, we’re not talking about just sucking the blood out of every living being available, we’re saying that you should take in as much knowledge and learning you can find. Read everything available — good and bad, and keep your mind open to the infinite possibilities of the universe. The more you know, the more you’ll want to know, and the more your faculty of wonder will be exercised. Prepare to be amazed at little facts that add a bit of colour into your life.
Focus on a creative activity everyday. Yes, it’s an effort. Even doodling is a creative activity. Don’t let anything hinder you. Mindlessness may be a creative activity, but for people who are just starting out to unleash a little bit of creative thinking in their lives, it is helpful and encouraging to have concrete evidence, that, “hey, what I’m doing is getting somewhere.” So why don’t you try it. Practice drawing for a couple of minutes each day. Bring out your old camera and start snapping photos like crazy. Keep a journal and make a point to write in it religiously. Another cool idea is to write by describing something with all your senses. Try to avoid vague adjectives like “marvellous,” “amazing,” and “delicious.” Before you know it, you’ll have built yourself a tiny portfolio, and you’ll be amazed at the growth you’ve undertaken after amassing all those works of art. Who knows, you might actually take to liking those things you do everyday. Pretty soon those things will become a part of you and you’ll be addicted to these creative exercises.
Think out of the box — or don’t. Sometimes, constraints are actually a good thing. Limitations discipline you to work within your means. It enables you to be more resourceful. Creative freedom is great, but limitations enforce discipline.
Try something new everyday and let your experiences broaden your perspective. Explore a new district in your neighborhood. Spend an afternoon in a museum to which you’ve never been before. Chat up someone on the bus. Open up to the people around you. As you thrust yourself out of your comfort zone more and more each day, your sense of adventure grows and so does your zest for life. Think about it. When was the last time you did something for the first time? If it’s been a while, I tell you, you’ve been missing out on a whole lot of experiences that could’ve added to your growth, emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually. Why don’t you try bungee jumping today? Not only will you learn, but you will also have plenty of stories to share, enabling you to practice your storytelling skills and making you the life of the party.
Embrace insanity. No, not to the point of practically admitting yourself into the mental ward. As John Russell once said, “Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting.” Exactly! Every creative thought was once deemed insane by other “normal” people at one time or another. Luckily, that didn’t stop the creative geniuses from standing by them. The thing is, sanity or ‘being normal’ confines people to think… well, normally. Within limits. Creativity is essentially breaking through barriers. Yes, this includes the bizzarre and the downright strange. I’m not saying that you yourself should develop a creative personality. That might go haywire. An example of a creative personality would be George Washington, who often rode into battle naked, or James Joyce, who wrote “Dubliners” with beetle juice due to an intense fear of ink, or Albert Einstein who thought his cat was a spy sent by his rival. It’s important that your creativity doesn’t get you detached from the real world completely.
I hope this article has inspired you to start thinking beyond your “limits.” If you follow these steps pretty soon you’ll be living a life full of interesting adventures. Unleashing your creative thinking will bring about a new zest for living life
Filed under Lifestyle by on Jul 21st, 2010.
For many of us some of our greatest stress comes during the day while we are at work. Between the constant distractions, looming deadlines, unreasonable bosses, and never ending emails, it’s no wonder we are so stressed out. There are many ways to relieve stress and the good news is that desktop games make it easy for you to take stress busting breaks during your day, right at your desk.
Playing games of all types has long been known to help people relax and unwind. It can be a great way to spend fun time with family and friends. Today with all the digital technology available to us we have an even greater variety of games to choose from including digital games. All of this makes our options when it comes to unwinding even greater.
Desktop games such as Desktop Destroyer and Online Paintball are very fun and great ways to blast through your stressful day. These high action games are the next best thing to physical activities like boxing or jogging when it comes to stress relief.
Other games that will help you focus and concentrate are Sudoku, cross word puzzles, and Solitaire, just to name a few. These games challenge your mind and allow you to stay sharp. By focusing on the game you are not focusing on the problems and deadlines, you are focusing on something that’s fun and challenging.
Sometimes you can unwind simply by disconnecting from everything that’s going on around you for a little while. Finding a few minutes in the middle of your hectic workday can do wonders for your overall mood and make it easier for you to get through the rest of the day. We all need some downtime, or escape time, and that’s what these desktop games allow you to do.
We all know that physical exercise is a great stress buster, but as you don’t have time right in the middle of your work day to run to the gym, these games offer the next best thing. They are great alternatives for those times when you feel like you’re ready to blow up, but you don’t have the time for exercise. Desktop games can be a great way to let off steam without losing control.
With desktop games you don’t need to change into workout clothes, you don’t have to worry about getting sweaty, you don’t need to spend a lot of time, you have everything right there on your desk so you can take a quick five minute break and then get right back to work, if you can drag yourself away from your game!
Relieving stress is an important part of everyone’s life. We all know that too much stress can cause serious health issues, so it’s important to find ways to unwind on a daily basis. Playing desktop games to relieve stress is a simple, quick, and easy way to help you decompress during your workday and your heart will thank you for it.
Filed under Lifestyle by on Jun 20th, 2010.
It might take a little coffee or maybe a few rounds of beer (or any other booze you can get your hands on!) when it comes to relaxing after a hard day’s work. But what’s really interesting is how people continue with their day to day lives when faced with vein-popping stress? I mean, the new age thing like Zen or yoga is one of the good things and it actually works. Is there room in our modern world for the intellectual side of people? It kind of had me thinking that there really must be something in this ‘mind-over-matter’ thing.
Humour is indeed pretty much the best medicine there is whatever your situation. Despite what’s happening in your life, and whatever ordeals, problems and issues you may be struggling with, it’s better to laugh while facing the troubles with a clear mind than project anger through a clouded vision.
One of my favourite celebrities of all time may have to be Woody Allen. Now this is one guy who gives you the in-your-face bluntness that he pulls out with gusto, even without even trying. You can talk just about anything with the man, and he’s bound to mock the subject and you’ll end up laughing rather than being upset about it.
Woody Allen has this to say:
1. “Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons
2. “I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government.”
3. “There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?”
4. “Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.”
5. “A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said ‘no’.”
6. “Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.”
7. “I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
8. “I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.”
9. “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”
And despite what may happen to all of us in the next ten, twenty, or even thirty years, I guess we have to learn to see things in a different light. I can’t seem to imagine life without a little piece of wisdom that could guide me. Whether we’re religious or not, or whether Life According to Woody Allen is more your cup of tea, it takes courage to accept your fears and learn how to deal with.
And to sum things up, here is the last nugget of wisdom to go by however, whenever, and wherever we may be.
10. “The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.”
Filed under Lifestyle by on Jun 12th, 2010.
Some people think I’m mad when I say my exercise routine takes just five minutes but am I?
Orientals certainly think our Western way of exercise is strange - all that huffing and puffing. They focus on martial arts learning a skill, a focus, a method of self defence and becoming incredibly strong, flexible and energised at the same time.
Can you imagine a bunch of aliens visiting one of Earth’s gyms?
“Hey Orrrrk (ok, so I don’t really know what Aliens are called!)
I have just seen some earth creatures in a place they call a Gym.
Some of them are jumping up and down on a rubber mat and others are running on machines that take them nowhere. They spend a lot of time doing this.
My calculations tell me that some of them are damaging their bodies. Some of them are trying to get thinner, some are trying to get bigger, none of them are happy to be what they are.”
Well that may not be entirely how they would see it but who knows?
I spend 5 minutes a day doing my exercise, I’m fit enough to enjoy my life, I’m energetic to work a long tough day and still enjoy some nightlife. But most importantly I feel good… no I feel FANTASTIC.
Wake Up and Breathe!…. it’s Out of this World, but it’s not mad.
Find out more at our workshop www.FiveMinutestoFitness.co.uk
Filed under Barry's Blog, Health & Healing, Lifestyle, Nutrition, Wellbeing by on Apr 29th, 2010.
Did you know that before the advent of electricity we humans used to sleep for around 10 hours each night, these days the average is less than 7 hours! It’s pretty safe to assume that most of us are surviving on less sleep than we need.
Being very adaptable we may not notice this but as sleep is essential to replenishRead more on A Good Night’s Sleep…
Filed under Lifestyle by on Mar 1st, 2010.
Filed under Health & Healing, Lifestyle by on Feb 26th, 2010.
Getting your closet organized in a manner that is going to continually serve you takes time. The success of your endeavor is going to depend on the system you devise to keep your closet organized. Most of us have never stopped to consider all the open space in our closet. The key to being successful isRead more on An Organised Closet – 1…Filed under Lifestyle by on Feb 10th, 2010.
